Sooooooooooooooooooo

FUCK IT'S EARLY...

IT CAN BE FUN TO TRAVEL BACK IN TIME, BUT MORE FUN TO CONTINUE FORWARD...

You know, I used to rag on Air Supply all of the time. Maybe it was because my Mom loved them and forced me to go see them. Maybe it was because Russell smelled of booze and moth balls. Maybe it was because they were Australian and I hated the thought that this was the only thing to come out of there (aside from Yahoo Serious...).

But now that I am older, and have been Air Supply free for many years, I have decided to give them a second go around. Their tunes are just as catchy as they were back from when I was a child, and honestly, they aren't THAT bad. Listening to the songs kind of makes me sad in a way... remember back to being a child. I'm beginning to understand more and more every day why my mother misses her childhood so much. The older I get, the less ignorant to the world around me I become. I would do anything to get my innocence back... to not have a care in the world. I think that when we are children, we don't truly realize what a horrible place this world is. This isn't to say that there are no good aspects, because there certainly are.

I suppose there is a lot going on and I haven't had the chance to clear my mind yet. I've been pretty flustered the last few days. This week has been pretty hard thus far, and very depressing. What's worse is that I can't even talk to anyone about it. I suppose it could be worse, but a lot has been weighing on my mind.

Sometimes I have to wonder if John Lennon made John Lennon or if Yoko made John Lennon? Or if John Lennon made John Lennon as a result of Yoko?

I was told one time of a full grown man who believes he needs woman to motivate him to get his life straight, yet in order to get the kind of woman he is after, he himself should get his life straight first because (let's be really honest here) a woman doesn't want someone with nothing to show for. I suppose he needs a woman to make an effort to look decent, yet he'll never get a woman if he himself doesn't make that effort first. Maybe it doesn't make sense to me because I'm an existentialist. Personally, I believe that if you are comfortable living your life as you live it, you are comfortable in knowing that some things are unattainable. Say you look like a dirt ball, yet have very specific standards for a woman. Chances are you won't get anyone close to what you want looking like a dirt ball, assuming the woman you are after is young, pretty, and loving. I could be generalizing a bit, but that's also generally how it goes. As an existentialist, I believe that you can have anything you want in life, you just have to decide you want it and get it. Part of doing this, however, is investing time and energy into your goal. You don't get anything in life without work, most of it being hard. It just amazes me that someone who has been around as long as he has can still think that they should just be handed something to do what they have to do with their life. Maybe he doesn't need a woman to achieve what he needs to do. Maybe he needs to do what he needs to do and the woman will be the reward? Usually folks work to get a woman, not get a woman to work. Either way, that's not a very respectable work ethic.

But on the flip side, who am I to judge him or his beliefs? I'm Chris fucking Seibert. I suppose I could offer him advice like, "if something isn't (and hasn't) been working out the way you want, maybe you just need to take a new course of action", or "check your priorities", or maybe "murder someone, I hear convicted murders get a lot of lady fan mail".

Speaking of which, Susan Atkins was a hottie back in the day. I hear she's almost blind and had a leg amputated and has brain cancer. I kind of want to write her a letter before she dies. Not to be like, "Oh, I got a letter from Susan Atkins" but because, well, I don't know. Sometimes I feel that my words may have some kind of profound affect on her or something. I never wrote her, however, because she'll always be Sadie Glutz to me, which leaves me to wonder if I'm obsessed with Susan or Sadie... either way it's kind of scary. I just don't feel I could write an appropriate letter to Susan, because I really want to write to Sadie. And if I write to Sadie, yet send it to Susan, I'm sure I'd really offend her.

It's amazing the difference a name can make. I feel like I am such a different person from four weeks ago, even three weeks ago. A lot has happened, both in reality and inside my mind. A great change has occurred. The hard thing about changes, however, is that folks around you know you, or "know" you. That makes it difficult to be who you truly are because there are expectations to be met, and people treat you as the old you, not the new you.  

Maybe I just need a new name.

The line between progression and reinvention starts to blur...

I suppose staying the same is what killed Air Supply. You have to change, not only with the times, but also with your growth. And if you don't grow, then you become stuck and everything will surely fall apart. That's what happened to Air Supply. That's what's happening to my mother. And Kurt. Change isn't a bad thing, when it's for the better.

The past is a great place to visit, but not a great place to live. Property tax is a bitch.

These weekends keep getting crazier and crazier. It is good to finally be home, and will be good to finally get some sleep in my own bed. Not that sleeping in someone else's bed is bad, but when you are exhausted and still wearing the clothes you wore the day before... nothing is more comforting than a long, hot shower and your own bed.

I have nothing of merit to say as my brain is fried. I do, however, wonder who the fuck names a cake... and who the fuck names a cake MacArthur's Park?

I'm also wondering where I can find a Waldo shirt. I decided to go to Bri's Christmaween party as Waldo, and make sure I'm somewhere in every picture taken by absolutely everyone. I found the perfect Waldo shirt at the, um, "urban" store at the mall. The problem is that they don't carry any shirts smaller than an XL. Infact, they have it in every size from XL to XXXL. I'm not talking about Roman Numerals, either.

And for the record, hearing Slayer covers done by a string quartet is fucking insane.

ASSEMBLY LINES OF LOVE, PLEASE

When I used to think of China, I thought of oppression. But the more I think about China, the more I realize that I am the oppressor. We all are. It never really made sense to me why China's internet is completely censored and controlled by their government. I couldn't understand how, for the most part, the entire country is under surveillance. I didn't understand why China's citizens were treated as they were... but it is all making sense now.

Many of our every day items are made in China. This we all know. Many of our old every day items are taken apart and salvaged in China. This we all may not know. Many cities in China have the sole purpose of manufacturing our goods. Entire populations work assembly lines and sift through trash. High schools are extremely hard to get accepted in to, forcing those who are denied to work in the factories. The entire country makes life easier for the rest of the world's population... at the expense of it's citizens quality of life. This is known as slavery, and we (the consumer) are the slave drivers, with our business people and politicians being the slave masters.

China uses more coal than any other country. Why? To power it's factories. China has the largest population of any country. Why? To work in the factories. China is the largest producer of the many of the world's products. Why? Because someone has to do it.

I think most of us realize this, but I don't think the weight of situation causes enough burden on us to actually sit and think about it. Our media doesn't help us see this, and you'd be lucky to find an awareness group that is taken seriously. Sometimes you just have to experience it yourself... or see it through the eyes of an unbiased individual. Sometimes, you just have to see it as art to truly appreciate the wrongs of the world, and our own wrongs at that.

Edward Burtynsky is a photographer who travels the world taking pictures of how humanity has altered nature. His photographs are truly works of art, created by the "art" of unknowing artists just doing their jobs. I discovered Burtynsky by accident as I was searching industrial images. I have always had an affinity for urban decay and monolithic factories, machines, and the like. I came across his photographs and instantly fell in love. I later found that a DVD had been released called Manufactured Landscapes. The main focus of the film is on China and it really puts things into perspective. Every time I watch it I gather something else from it, something life changing and something intellectually stimulating. There's a certain magic in his photographs, and certain truths in his conversations with the Chinese folk... certain things that you can't touch upon through reading or through hearing someone speak about it. It's something you simply have to see. What is great is that Burtynsky himself isn't attempting to take a specific stand, nor is he trying to persuade any one to any particular cause. He is an artist who is creating beauty out of ugly places and situations.

It just really makes me sad to know that there is nothing that can be done about the situation in China. Truthfully, we wouldn't live in the society we have today if it wasn't for China and it's world role. All the great aspects of a progressive society wouldn't be possible without someone having to take the fall. Unfortunately, we (the "free world") have unfairly placed that burden on China, instead of all of us pitching in. This isn't to say that we in the U.S. don't have sweat shops, factories and the like. We certainly do! But our entire country is not dedicated to this cause.

One of the most moving parts of this film is where Burtynsky and company go to the site of the (yet to be completed at the time of filming) Three Gorges Reservoir. If memory serves me correct, something like 7 CITIES had to be relocated to make room for the project. 1.24 MILLION people had to relocate out of their homes so the damn could be built... to supply power to factories and the cities where the workers live. The worst part? The citizens didn't have a say. And to add insult to injury, it was the RESIDENTS who were responsible for not only TEARING DOWN the old cities, but building their new homes... all manual labor being paid at less than 4 dollars A DAY. The people relocated accounted for 1.5% of the population for the ENTIRE PROVINCE.

And all of this happened so we can have our treasured espresso machines and hair dryers.

As beautiful as Burtynsky's photographs are, I can't help but feel guilt in being responsible for his subject matter. The art of the photographer is the art of the worker, which is the art of the consumer. Creation. We all do it. And as bad as it makes me feel, as guilty as I am... I know I will continue. And somehow I can live with that. I suppose it's because I am not in their situation. I suppose it's because I know that they are fine living the way they live... and I'm sure many of them know there are better options for life available to them.

Yet they stay. Maybe they realize their place in the world. At least they would know. I wish I knew my place in the world... I wish my place in the world could make some sort of difference. Knowing what I know, and feeling as I feel, I wish it were up to me to restructure society from the ground up in an attempt to make life better for everyone.

I'm sure that tomorrow I will purchase something that a 15 year old child will be making for the rest of his or her life. I suppose it all sort of evens out seeing as I'm dosed with MSG every time I eat Chinese cuisine. Hey, one foul turn deserves another.